wonderings

I talk-he doesn't reply. We just sit there at dinner, ignoring each other. I stare off, not making eye contact wondering if he heard me and just chose not to reply to my inquiry of what he was thinking or if he thinks he answers, but only did so in his head. Why is it hardest the week I get my period. Well, I know I am 'off' and more irritable, and he is not getting sex, which is HUGE to him. But why is it so awful. He gets so mean, and angry and bummed. There is no talking to him or with him. No one has any fun and it's supposedly my fault.

My other 'gripe' is, his focus or obsession of sex and of my sexual parts. I even asked him, when was the last time he held my hand. I caress him and hold his hand and even say I love him. He says I am pushing him away constantly, but that is only because he gropes me, and yes that is what it feels like for he always grabs by butt, never initiates holding my hand or cuddling with me. He does hug, but when it is time to cuddle or hug, it's 'come give me a hug'. I'm envious of those who snuggle up in a chair with legs over lapping and caressing of the legs or hair.

What I think needs to happen? I think it's time to seek a marriage counselor. We keep having the same fights/arguments over and over. The happy times are become fewer and less often. We spend more time angry and fuming at each other than we do anything else. Even now, I am occupying myself on my computer doing homework than going to bed. Dinner was, well, I lost my appetite again.